Beyond the "Bounce Back": Rewriting the Postpartum Narrative
- weareminimondo
- Mar 21, 2025
- 8 min read
Why Postnatal Body Image Is a Matrescence Issue.
Motherhood doesn’t just shift our priorities—it rewires everything. Our routines, our energy, even the way we see ourselves. And yet, we often step into this new chapter carrying a long list of ‘shoulds’—things we believe we must do to be a good mother, to get it right, to keep up. But real confidence and joy in motherhood don’t come from meeting these expectations; they come from questioning them. From letting go of outdated ideas and embracing the version of ourselves that is growing and evolving.
One of the biggest ‘shoulds’ we carry with us is about our bodies. I didn’t fully appreciate, at the time, what my body had endured during pregnancy, nor did I understand the immense changes still happening after birth. I didn’t see the beauty in it—I only saw what I thought was missing. The weeks, then months passed, and I still hadn’t ‘bounced back.’ My body was different (I’d even grown in show size!). But instead of embracing the new, I kept focusing on the past, convinced I had failed because I hadn’t returned to my pre-baby weight fast enough. The truth? That expectation was never mine to carry in the first place. But I was not alone, research indicates that body dissatisfaction among mothers increases significantly postpartum. A study found that mothers' body dissatisfaction scores rose from 15.2 at 0-1 months to 18.2 at 9 months postpartum, despite an average weight loss of 10.1 pounds during this period. *
Shifting the Focus: From 'Bouncing Back' to ‘Feeling Good’
Motherhood isn’t about shrinking—it’s about expanding. It’s an opportunity to grow, to learn, to thrive. So, what if we chose to let these ‘shoulds’ go? What if, instead of chasing an impossible version of who we were before, we focused on what actually makes us feel good now?
There’s so much pressure to "bounce back" after childbirth—an expectation that can leave new mothers feeling like they’ve somehow fallen short if they don’t quickly return to their pre-baby bodies or routines. And in today’s world, comparison is everywhere. We’re told how our own mothers did it differently, we measure ourselves against friends—old and new—and we scroll through picture-perfect snapshots of motherhood online. But the idea of bouncing back is flawed. It dismisses the immense transformation a woman’s body undergoes and places unrealistic demands on a time that should be about healing, adjusting, and embracing the new.
Physically, pregnancy and childbirth bring profound changes. The surge of relaxin, a hormone that loosens ligaments and joints to prepare for birth, can lead to lingering aches and instability in the pelvis and lower back. Recovery from childbirth—whether from a vaginal birth, caesarean section, or any physical trauma—takes time. Then comes the adjustment to breastfeeding, disrupted sleep, fluctuating hormones, and the sheer physical demands of caring for a newborn. These changes don’t vanish overnight, and they certainly don’t reverse on a set timeline.
Instead of striving to 'bounce back,' the focus should be on supporting our bodies through these changes—with movement that strengthens rather than strains, with nutrition that sustains rather than depletes, and with the grace to recognise that this journey is not about returning to who we were, but about stepping into who we are becoming.
Understanding Postpartum Bodily Changes
After giving birth, a woman's body experiences numerous changes, many of which are influenced by hormonal fluctuations. Understanding these changes can help in setting realistic expectations and promoting self-compassion.
1. Relaxin and Its Effects
Relaxin is a hormone produced primarily during pregnancy that helps relax the ligaments in the pelvis and soften and widen the cervix in preparation for childbirth. Elevated levels of relaxin persist postpartum, which can affect joint stability and flexibility. While relaxin levels decrease after childbirth, they can remain elevated for several months, with some sources suggesting up to 12 months postpartum. revivalchiropractic.com
2. Hormonal Fluctuations
Postpartum hormonal shifts are significant and can impact both physical and emotional wellbeing:Verywell Health. Estrogen and Progesterone drop dramatically after childbirth, which can influence mood and energy levels. Typically, estrogen and progesterone levels return to pre-pregnancy levels by six months postpartum. Parents.
3. Physical Changes
Beyond hormonal adjustments, several physical changes occur:
Beyond hormonal shifts, pregnancy and childbirth bring significant physical changes that take time to adjust to. The uterus gradually returns to its pre-pregnancy size over six weeks, while stretched muscles and skin, particularly in the abdominal area, may not fully regain elasticity. The pelvic floor, which supports vital organs, can weaken, leading to issues like incontinence—yet simple strengthening exercises can aid recovery. These changes highlight the need for a compassionate approach to postnatal health.
The answer? By shifting the focus to personal wellbeing and feeling good, new mothers can foster a more compassionate and realistic approach to postpartum recovery, celebrating their bodies for the incredible journey they've undergone.
The importance of balance between intrinsic and extrinsic wellbeing
Intrinsic: Intrinsic wellbeing refers to a deep, internal sense of satisfaction and contentment that arises from within, driven by personal values, self-acceptance, and a sense of purpose. It’s about finding joy in the process of living and engaging in activities that resonate with your true self. As you transition into motherhood, this type of wellbeing becomes incredibly important. It’s about staying connected to your sense of self, practicing self-acceptance as your body and life change, and finding joy in the small moments. Cultivating intrinsic wellbeing involves listening to your intuition, engaging in activities that align with your true self, and embracing the journey rather than focusing solely on the destination. This inner contentment is crucial during pregnancy and early motherhood, as it helps you navigate challenges with resilience and grace, creating a strong foundation for both you and your child. By nurturing your intrinsic wellbeing, you empower yourself to face the uncertainties of motherhood with confidence and calm, knowing that your sense of happiness and purpose comes from within.
Extrinsic: Extrinsic wellbeing involves recognising how the environment—including the spaces, places, and people we surround ourselves with—can significantly impact our mental and physical health. As your body and life undergo profound changes, the spaces you inhabit, the people you interact with, and even the sensory elements in your environment—like lighting, scents, and sounds—can impact your overall wellbeing. Creating a nurturing, supportive environment becomes essential; this could mean decluttering your living space to reduce stress or surrounding yourself with a strong support system. The relationships you maintain and the community you build play a pivotal role in your extrinsic wellbeing, offering emotional support and practical help when needed. By consciously designing an environment that promotes relaxation, comfort, and positivity, you can enhance your well-being and better support your transition into motherhood. This balanced approach ensures that both your inner and outer worlds are aligned to foster a healthy, fulfilling experience during pregnancy and beyond.
When we have strength internally, we can succeed at anything. Combine this with the right things around us and a fulfilling experience during pregnancy and beyond is inevitable.
Redefining Postpartum Wellbeing
Instead of fixating on weight loss, clothes sizes and social media image, it's essential to focus on overall wellbeing and acknowledge the remarkable transformations that occur during this period. It’s essential to focus our energy, on how we feel. Recognising these changes underscores that the notion of quickly "bouncing back" is not only unrealistic but also overlooks the body's natural recovery process.
Movement and nutrition play a crucial role in both physical and mental wellbeing, but the key is consistency—without pressure. Research shows that regular movement can reduce anxiety, boost energy, and support long-term resilience. Nurturing both body and mind, whether through mindful movement, balanced nutrition, or restorative practices, creates a foundation for strength and vitality in motherhood.
Reframing movement
We've been conditioned to think of movement as formal exercise—picture someone sweating it out on a treadmill or lifting heavy weights at the gym. But this idea of exercise as something structured and intense is relatively new. Before we had designated spaces and routines for fitness, movement was simply a part of life. We walked, we carried, we stretched, we played. Reframing movement is essential—it shouldn’t be about punishing workouts but about feeling good, strong, and capable in our daily lives, especially post partum. Movement should be accessible to everyone, without pressure, without expectation.
Just 10 minutes of movement can have a profound impact—exercise releases endorphins, lifting mood and reducing stress (Harvard Health). It also plays a key role in postnatal recovery, improving circulation, aiding healing, and strengthening the core and pelvic floor, which helps reduce fatigue and boost overall health (Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists). Walking in natural light, particularly in the morning, can regulate circadian rhythms for both mum and baby, leading to better sleep and increased energy (Sleep Foundation). Plus, the physical demands of motherhood—holding, carrying, and feeding a baby—require strength and stamina. Gentle strength training and functional movement help prevent aches and pains, improve posture, and support the body through this new chapter.
Building strength and energy doesn’t require hours at the gym—starting with small, manageable movements can lay the foundation for a sustainable routine. A minute of sit-ups before your morning shower may not seem like much, but it’s a step toward building strength and establishing movement as a daily habit. Over time, these minutes add up, making exercise a natural part of your routine rather than a chore.
Bring Your Baby Along – Pop your baby in a sling and take a morning walk. This not only sets your circadian rhythm but also helps your baby’s sleep cycle.
At-Home Workouts – If leaving the house is tricky, find an app with short workouts you can do in your living room.
Walk & Talk Meet-Ups – Instead of sitting down for a coffee morning, invite another mum for a walk.
Use a Walker to Your Advantage – Place the walker near a window so you get visual stimulation while you get some steps in. Want a challenge? Try setting the incline to 12 at a pace of 5 MPH for 30 minutes—this one will get you sweating!
The Power of Nutrition
In the whirlwind of new motherhood, it's easy to view food as a quick fix for exhaustion or stress, often leading to choices that provide immediate comfort but lack nutritional value – cut to stocking up on muffins for the 2am feed instead of dates or dark chocolate! Oops. This tendency, known as emotional eating, is common among postpartum women and can be exacerbated by hormonal fluctuations and sleep deprivation.
A study published in the International Journal of Behavioral Nutrition and Physical Activity found that during pregnancy and postpartum, greater depressive symptoms, higher stress, and poorer sleep quality were associated with increased hedonic hunger and addictive-like eating behaviors. Specifically, poor sleep quality was linked to stronger and more frequent cravings for certain foods. Pubmed.
Alignment, Not Pressure
However, by reframing our relationship with food and recognizing it as fuel, we can harness its power to support recovery, energy, and mood. Focusing on nutrient-dense options like fresh fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats provides essential vitamins and minerals that aid in healing and sustain energy levels. For instance, incorporating leafy greens such as spinach and kale can boost the immune system and reduce inflammation.
Establishing simple, sustainable nutritional habits postpartum can make a significant difference:
Swap Sugary Snacks for Nutrient-Rich Alternatives: Choosing nuts and dark chocolate over high-sugar options can offer sustained energy and satisfy cravings.
Increase Intake of Leafy Greens: Incorporating vegetables like spinach and kale provides essential vitamins and minerals that support recovery and energy levels.
Consider the MIND Diet: Emphasizing whole grains, healthy fats, and lean proteins can enhance brain health and mental clarity, which are crucial during the early stages of motherhood.
By embracing these small shifts and viewing food as an ally, new mothers can foster a healthier relationship with eating, leading to improved physical health and emotional well-being.
This isn’t about adding pressure or expectations—it’s about honouring what your body needs and making choices that support your wellbeing. Movement doesn’t have to be intense, and nourishment doesn’t have to be complicated. Small, consistent shifts—whether stretching for a few minutes, taking a slow walk, or choosing whole, nutrient-rich foods—can make a real difference.
When we care for our bodies in a way that feels good, we create more energy, resilience, and balance—not just for ourselves, but for the little ones who depend on us.
And I leave you with a powerful reminder from Jim Rohn:
Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.
Ready for more? Download your free Matrescence Reset Guide: 6 levers to reclaim your energy, joy and self, and join the free Nurture Your World newsletter for monthly wellness letters designed for the woman behind the mother.
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